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This period marks a full decade since the term “vanishing” hit the mainstream. Back then, the concept that someone could instantly end communication with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the peak of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, finding a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed guide to the words this generation is using to talk about romance, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ideal is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's reaction is interested or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s response to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding mystery and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means seeking out someone who aids you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A date where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do low-cost romance in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 80s yuppie excess, it describes partners who forgo having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: embracing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral traits indicating a prospective partner is bad news. Such as calling their former partners unstable, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks validate your choice to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe specific, mostly benign quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band many young men listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that instantly kill any feelings of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {